Recently, I’ve been observing romantic relationships among graduate students as part of an assignment topic for a narrative journalism paper. From the interviews I’ve conducted and late night bar conversations, the results have been interesting to say the least.
From what I’ve heard, whether or not two people decide to come together comes down to a number of factors (in no particular order): gumption, timing, attraction (the ‘zing’ factor) and common values or goals. Sounds like the emotional calculation we all go through in ANY romantic situation, be it as a graduate student, undergraduate student or even as a working professional.
So, what makes graduate relationships so different or unique? Grace, a Master of Publishing student met her boyfriend Tim, a Master of Engineering student at a friend’s party a year ago. The way she tells it, when he brought her a plate filled with BBQ sausages, grilled corn and a drink – she was sold. After a year of dating and completion of her course, it was time for her to return to her native country, China. Tim, also a Chinese national has 2 more years on his programme but as he told her, he would wait for her.
Grace says, “When you meet someone who ‘wows’ you in a way that isn’t ordinary then you would be remiss not to jump at the chance.”
Another example of great spunk is John, a Master of Digital Animation student who ended his engagement in his native South Africa to pursue a fellow classmate, an Aussie girl. And all this, knowing he would have to return to Joburg after his course. If that’s not gumption, I don’t know what is.
“You have to take it a day at a time. If you think too far ahead, it falls apart because we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future,” says John then adds “We could all die tomorrow, doesn’t matter if we’re graduate students – life is short.” Sounding very ominously like Charles Bukowski.
However, as with all things – some good things do come to an end. And there have been relationships that have ended in heartbreak, tears and perhaps a few cross words. Yet, perhaps the key here is to embrace the opportunities presented to you despite the outcomes. For all of us who are graduate students, away from home – taking that leap of faith to pursue our dream, defying the odds to live our passion – surely, no one puts it more succinctly than Bukowski himself ‘The Gods will offer you chances, Know them, Take Them.‘
Intrepid Writer 